Episode 43

Preparing your kids
for school (Part 1)

August 15, 2022

[Kyle]: In today's podcast we're going to tackle the new school year. If your kids are going back to school, we're going to equip you how to set them up for success. So, I hope you walk away with tons of tools to make sure this next school year is going to be a great one for you and your kiddos.

[Kyle]: Hello and welcome to The Art of Raising Humans. I’m Kyle.

[Sara]: And I’m Sara.

[Kyle]: And this episode should be dropping just before most of our kiddos go to school. So, for most people listening kids, go to school like the third week of august, so we wanted particularly to do a couple of episodes back-to-back on preparing your kids for school. So, this one is going to focus on that. But before we get into all that great info, I just-- There's something that I’ve forgotten to remind listeners about, something I even forgot that we had available. We try to like-- Sara and I do a lot of content to really help support families in their journey to be more peaceful parents or to just shift away from fear and shame and if you go to our website parentinglegacy.com, that's www.parentinglegacy.com. There is an 8-part video course. It's under 30 minutes and it's all free. So, it's 8 separate videos. Each one's like 3 minutes, right around there to five to keep it all under 30, but it kind of walks you step by step each week on different skills to start implementing to kind of change some stuff.

[Kyle]: So, if you want that, that's totally available, totally free and of course, we've got tons of other great content there too. So, we'd love to have you go there and just check out the website. We also have video courses that we've done as well, one's about power struggles and how to change that in your home and another one is, if you've got teenagers in your home, we've got a whole great 90-minute course on just how to understand your teenager. So, encourage you to check those out and of course, I’ll remind you we'd love for you to go and give us some comments, to give us five stars, because five stars are fun and also help us be seen by more families and so, all of that support is really great and we love your comments and questions, that's really helpful.

[Kyle]: So, how about we dive into this? You want to dive into it?

[Sara]: Yeah

[Kyle]: Okay, go ahead, what were you going to say?

[Sara]: Okay. Well, I was just going to say school's starting up.

 

[Kyle]: Yes, school's starting up!

[Sara]: I know every family, all the parents out there are thinking “all right, here comes school again, gotta get the school supplies, clothes, shoes, pens, notebooks” and as I was thinking about preparing for our upcoming year.

[Sara]: I started thinking about just besides the practical stuff, what else--? How else do I need to prepare my children? Prepare us, prepare our home, our family for the coming year?

[Kyle]: Yeah, this is a really exciting time, but also a time with a lot of nerves and a lot of anxiousness. So, I know with our own kids, but also kids that we work with or help, families we help, I remember even being a kid like, august was kind of fun. There was some back-to-school shopping going on, some new clothes, maybe some cool new shoes if you can afford them these days, because they're so expensive. If you get the cool ones, of course is really pricey. So, but back to school stuff, all the supplies, even seeing the lists that you need for school, all that kind of stuff is fun. But we thought a lot of parents, you know, would like some support, I think, on how to best prepare their kids for the new school year. So, that's where we came up with this idea for this podcast, you know?

[Kyle]: So, I wanted to ask you some questions in particular, Sara and we'll kind of do some back and forth. Does that work?

[Sara]: Okay, great.

[Kyle]: So, first of all, the first question I thought is, why is it even important to be intentional about preparing the kids for school? Why do you make that a priority?

[Sara]: Well, I think I want to set the tone at the beginning of the year and we'll get into all the things I want to set the tone about, but I want to just like I prepare the practical stuff there, to me that's the smallest item on the table. All the other things about how the year is going to go, needs to be brought up and pulled out and talked about and planned for before we get in the middle of it, because I have myself sometimes as we get into the year and go “oh wow, what's going on here?”. There's a struggle or some families I’ve worked with, they knew there might be struggles and they sort of wait till things are falling apart. Because we just don't know, there's not a lot out there about “here”. Everyone knows to get school supplies, but what about the other stuff?

[Kyle]: Yeah. As you're saying that, I’m just thinking about preparation being the key to success. You know, you and I both enjoy watching sports. Go packers. But we like sports and the key to a good football team-- Well, I also love soccer and the key to a good soccer team is the preparation, you know? If they're going to be successful for the year, you can typically go back and see a lot of that success started in the preparation that they did with that team prior to. You don't want to wait till game day to be like “oh my gosh! I forgot to do this!” or “did we talk about that!?” or “do we--!?" and if you do that, you're going to lead to a frantic team, that is now reacting to the situation. So, really, it's preparation that gives your kids the best pathway to succeed in the school year. Would you agree to that?

[Sara]: I would agree with that and I think it also sets a relationship tone, that where to me a big part of it is just, we're together in this, you know? I’m not just shoving you out the door or you know, “here you go--".

[Kyle]: “Good luck!”

[Sara]: Yeah. Which, you know, parents don't feel that way, but I think, if we don't-- This opens the door, this creates the atmosphere of “hey, I’m with you in this, I know you're going in to do a hard thing, you know? You're going--". I don’t-- If it's the nerves of going to kindergarten and being there all day and or seventh grade and middle school or your senior year, whatever it is, each grade holds a different load of pressures and things going on and so, I want to kind of pull that out and I wonder what's going on inside of their heads. So, one of the first things I do is goal set and I want to talk about “what do you--?” and goal set I don't just mean “I want to get A's”.

[Kyle]: Yes

[Sara]: But I want to pull out all the things, you know? “What do you want your social life to look like this year?”, are they going to a different school? I want to bring those things out and talk about it. What are they seeing--? I know I might have some goals for them, right? I know what I want them to do, but I want to hear from them. “What do you want out of your year? What are you wanting from school academics? What are you wanting from your social world at school?”. Maybe they're into some sports, maybe they're running track and so, they have some goals they're setting in that world too, but I’d be very curious what's the first thing that comes out of my kid's mouth when I say “what do you want out of this year coming up?”

[Sara]: And that lets me know what's going on inside of them. So, again, I’d want to do less talking and a lot of listening. And I’d even write it down.

[Kyle]: Uh huh, so let's see visually, yeah.

[Sara]: Yeah. So, let's write a few of these things down, let's write down “what are you hoping to get from this year? What do you want to see happening?” and naturally from that, they might set some goal on there and you're thinking “I don't know how they're going to do that”, but it creates the opportunity to have the conversation. “How are you going to get there? What are the steps?” and kids might have an idea of where they want to get, but it's a great learning opportunity to say “how can I get there? I want to do this thing”.

[Sara]: So, we could write out, what are the steps? What are the pathways to achieving this goal? And it might even be-- And you could do this with all ages, it could be a five-year-old, you know? It could be a 17-year-old and you just do it at that level. You go get ice cream and you say “hey, let's talk about what you want out of there”.

[Sara]: You know, and you write it out and it's not this two-hour conversation, but you stay at their level, you stay-- If they're in it, you follow that lead and you're writing it out and I think that's really important to know what's going on inside of them.

[Kyle]: Well, I think as I hear you talking, I’m thinking of it sets the foundation and kind of sends the message to the kid “you get to create this year”, you know? Right? I mean, I think typically sometimes as parents and definitely as kids, they don't feel that way, they feel like the year is like, they just have to respond to the year. The year happens, hopefully it's a good one not a bad one. It's like this sense of powerlessness about-- And not to say you can control all aspects of that year, obviously things are going to happen that are unpredictable, right? But you want to start the year going into and say “I do have some say”, you know? You do get to decide, it isn't just up to me or up to you or up to the school or you know. I mean, we can't control how that teacher is or whatever, we don't know what's going to happen there. But man, if you set some goals, I think it's intentional, it sets this like, power of intent that “I can create something in this year, I can make the year what I want it to be”.

[Sara]: Yeah, yeah. It gives them that ownership “this is my year” and we want to hand that over more and more to our kids. There's a lot of say we have in our kids’ lives, but the whole process is them taking more of that on, before they're headed to--

[Kyle]: Well, what I heard you too as you're doing it with the kid, you're also understanding them better, you're learning what they value, what they think is important. Instead I think a lot of the conversations we have as parents is telling them what we think is important, what we value and hopefully-- You know, maybe in those moments we just hope they adopt it and just accept it, right? And that can at times may be necessary, but even as young as you're saying like, four going into pre-k, let's start setting the foundation that when we do this, we do it together. Like, I really want to know what you value. Sure, I have an agenda, I’m sending you to this school for this reason or I value these things or I have these hopes and dreams about you, but what are your hopes and dreams? What are the things you want to create this year and then maybe I can help you achieve those in the same way-- I like that idea, Sara, because I think a lot of the conflict comes if we just keep setting the agenda for them, you know, which is easy to do at four or five, six, we think they can't do this, then by the time they're teenagers we've gotten into that really bad habit.

[Kyle]: If we're always creating the goals for them, we're always creating the dream for them, instead of this school, this topic of school is just such a great opportunity to teach them “I don't need to do that for you, I want to do that with you. I have some for you, but I want to know what you have for you” and I think that kind of back and forth is going to help them in so many areas in life.

[Sara]: Yeah, and I think, you know, when I did this with my six-year-old, she wants to have fun.

[Kyle]: I love that goal!

[Sara]: Right? and I do too. “Right, okay. So, how can we make it fun? What does fun look like?” And she wants to read more, because she's starting to read.

[Kyle]: Great. Okay, cool.

[Sara]: You know. So, it might just be-- We might have two or three goals and it's something I can revisit with her later, but it lets me know “okay, here's your priorities” or “here's what you're thinking about” and from there, then I think that's an open door to concerns.

[Sara]: You know, “what are you nervous about for the year?” You know, our older daughter in middle school, she's nervous about the workload. I think that's very real.

[Sara]: And not that I can come in, I’m not going to rush in and go “no problem! This is what we'll do, we'll do this, this and this and you'll be able to--" and it was-- I just wanted to listen. “What are you nervous about? What do you--? How do you anticipate this being?”, because she might have realistic expectations, she might not, but I want to hear that, I want to have that door into what's going on. What are the stressors? It might be a social stressor. Whatever it might be, I want to move from goals into just “tell me about, you know, what are your concerns for the year?”.

[Kyle]: So, even then that, what you're saying it's not to make those concerns just disappear.

[Sara]: Yeah, they might be legitimate. You might have a really bad teacher for a second, you know.

[Kyle]: It's just-- Yeah, it's just to receive those and say “I’m with you in it. Thank you for sharing that with me”. Yeah, and or you might even say “man, I remember going into middle school, I was nervous about that too. The workload did change quite a bit”, you know? And you just leave it at that, right? And then the kid may say “what did you do?”. “Oh, this is what I did”. You know, this is-- You know, you could kind of go back and forth on that, you know?

[Kyle]: So, I have another question for you. What routines do you believe are important to put into place before school starts? Some routines that you're intentional happening--

[Sara]: Well, I think-- To me that that kind of says “schedule”.

[Sara]: So, I wanna-- You know, it's really easy to slip into “get out of bed! Get your breakfast!”, you know, that rush, rush, rush. And I really don't want that, that's not a great way--

[Kyle]: That stinks. Yeah, we don't like that.

[Sara]: Yeah. I know what it's like to show up to work when I’ve had to cram down some breakfast or just skip breakfast or-- And just get there and I’m running in the door and that. Versus arriving, I’ve got time, I can say “Hi” to a co-worker. So, I want to create that in my morning and that just sort of goes to all the places. I want to have a schedule with my kids and it might change, it's okay, but let's start out with “what time are you gonna get up?”

[Sara]: And “what's breakfast going to be?”. I think that little check-in in the morning, if you can create it to eat together or-- And it doesn't matter if it's a bowl of cereal, but just a moment to breathe and be together before they head out there, head off to-- It does-- If you're homeschooling or if you're going to school, but just that quiet moment of connection before the day gets going.

[Kyle]: Yeah, instead of, what I like about that, Sara, and a lot of times I’m telling parents too with kids, we don't have to be a victim to the morning. Like, stop being surprised that the morning's happening. Let's have a routine in place that we like and some kids prefer to wake up on their own and they do it really well. Like, they like to set-- They feel really responsible setting their alarm like-- Other kids would like their parents to wake them up, you know? Some want them to wake them up gently, some are fine with like “get up!” and like, we'll talk about all those things. Some kids “I don't really want to eat breakfast”, right? And some kids really-- I remember as a kid myself, there was a time where my mom had to work in the mornings and she wasn't home and this was like 9th and 10th grade. So, breakfasts back then were like, toaster strudel or like heating up a sausage biscuit in the microwave or it was some quick cereal and I found it was harder to wake up and then my mom quit her job at the time to be there for us in the morning in our junior and senior years, from what I remember and she started making breakfast.

[Kyle]: And so, instead of it being like “Kyle, get out of bed!” or “Get up!”, it was like my mom would just walk in and say “hey, breakfast is almost ready” and then she'd leave my room and she knew that was enticing. I wanted to get up, I wanted to have eggs and bacon, I loved that breakfast. Still today, my favorite meal of the day is breakfast and I think it was because I knew my mom had spent some time making that, it was kind of-- So, that was even without even knowing it, I think my mom was trying to co-create a morning that she enjoyed, but also that I would enjoy, therefore making less conflict about getting up. So, I think all those conversations about those routines, I know we didn't hit up on this, but even when they go to bed, right? I mean, that's a big one.

[Kyle]: So, “what's bedtime going to look at? What time are we going to go to bed? How are we going to prepare for that before school starts? I know you've been staying up later because the summer time, but we need to switch back to this”.

[Sara]: “When are screens going off?”

[Sara]: Because we know screens affect your quality of sleep and so, “when are screens going off? Where are they going to go? Who's in charge of homework? When is homework being done? Who's going to have your bag packed in the morning or have your school prepared in the morning?” If you're homeschooling, you know, how do they know what to do? So, I think all of that-- Kids thrive in environments that they know what to expect, things are orderly and it's not scrambling and so, let's help create that with them and it's okay to say “we're gonna try this” with our changes in my-- With middle school and things like that and some of her workload changing. That's what we did, we said “This is our plan, we're going to try this for a couple weeks and we're going to check back in and see if it’s working.”

[Kyle]: Yes, great. Yeah, so what you're saying is even though you create that routine, it doesn't have to be set in stone. Like, we're still open-handed, we're still flexible about it. So, “hey, this is something new, we've never done this before, let's try it”, you know? So, a lot of times a kid will say “I would like to do this in the morning” and the parent will look at me kind of skeptically “I don't think that's going to work”. “Hey, let's try it. He thinks it will work” and I’ll tell the kid “Listen, if you think it's going to work, we got to see if it's going to work. Let's give it about a week or two. If it doesn't work, let's change it”, right?

[Sara]: Again, you're giving your child some power in it.

[Sara]: We do want to step away from where I’m in control of everything and I’m just-- You'll have more buy-in from the kids, more participation, you'll see changes when they feel like “I’ve got some say, so I own this in my life”. I see that a lot with homework, I’ve seen that where some kids really thrive. They get right home from school; they have a snack and they do homework.

[Sara]: Other kids they eat dinner, they take some down time and then they do better at doing homework and I think we can't always do that, but where we can allow our kids to find that spot for them, I think we as grownups are the same way. Some people they do things more last minute, some people they've got it done two weeks before the deadline and--

[Sara]: We-- Just the way we operate differently, children operate differently that way too, so let's help them discover that.

[Kyle]: Well, what I found out, Sara and I’m sure you could attest to this is, when a kid helps create that too, they're more likely to be committed to succeeding, you know? When it's just something we've set for them like, “this is bedtime, this is when we're getting up, this is like--" and of course, we have some input into that.

[Sara]: Right, there are like [Unintelligible] like two in the morning.

[Kyle]: Of course, but when we create it, whenever we-- When we just give it to them and say “this how it is”, there's more likely to be resistance. They're more likely to flow with it, be cooperative and be committed to it, if they've decided on it. So, I was even thinking, Sara, something I would want a parent to do is think back with your kid “how did last year go?”, you know? “What routines did you like? What routines did you not like? Did it work that bedtime? Was that helpful? Did you get enough sleep? Did you like how the morning time went or do you want to change it?”. I mean, I think too many parents I’m talking to, they kind of start dreading the school. I mean, some part they're happy about it, because maybe summer has been really stressful and they've been going on-- They want to get back to a routine.

[Sara]: And everyone wants their routine.

[Kyle]: Yeah, they want it back. But then they're also like “oh, but I hate the mornings, it's always a conflict like--”, but it doesn't have to be, you know? If you didn't like how-- I bet the kid didn't like it either, I bet neither one of you like it. So, then change it, you know? Talk to the kid about how we could do it differently and the parent-- A lot of times the parent doesn't even have a vision about what they would like it to look like. So, I’d like the parent to envision “how would you like the morning to look? How would you like bedtime to go do? Do you want every night them begging to stay up longer or them to sleep in more? Is that the conversation you want to have?”. If that's-- If you don't like that, then tell the kid you don't want to do that. Say “I’d like it to be different” and I’d want the kid to feel empowered to make up their vision too and we come together and we co-create what after school is going to look like, what nighttime's going to look like, what morning's going to look like. I think having a vision for those three times in particular, would be very helpful and make you more likely to succeed.

[Sara]: I agree, I agree and I’m really curious about my child's sort of-- I was thinking about it, just their-- What's their going into the year-- What-- I don't-- “Tone” is not quite the right word, but is it just, is my child just really, really excited? Is there a lot of dread going into the year?

[Sara]: I think it's just really, really important. Even if you can't fix everything and I know-- We're gonna have a podcast again, we're gonna have a part two kind of to this--

[Kyle]: Yes. Yeah, next week.

[Sara]: To handle what if I already know there's these really big problems and so, we're gonna get into that in the next one. But I just think it's very, very important to join with your child and let me know how you're feeling, let's have these regular check-ins and this isn't something I’m going to do once august 1st and then, I’m not going to revisit this again. Like I said before, schedules can change, routines can change. I’m going to have these regular check-ins “how's it working? Do we want to change something?” and I’m also-- Especially with my older children, if they bring up a problem or a concern-- Like, we will talk about this. We're not going to fix it, but I am going to ask them “is there a way I can help? Is there a way I can come along and support you in that?” and especially with that older group, sometimes they're just telling you about it and then they want you to let them work it out. Sometimes they're wanting that help, but to allow them to invite you into that space is really powerful at that age. They'll be much more receptive to it, but I would ask them. “Is there a way I can support you? I just-- You know, that does sound really hard”.

[Kyle]: Well, and the follow-up question, like “is there ways in the past I haven't been successful at supporting you?”, you know? “What's--?” That's a big one for me, because I probably make more mistakes than I-- “What ways have I tried to do that in the past and you didn't like it?”
 

[Sara]: Yeah. Well, you need to preface that with “you won't get in trouble”, you know? “Be honest. Whatever you say here, you're not going to get in trouble for”, because kids will be like “no, you're fine”.

[Kyle]: I know, that's right, yes. “I liked everything you did; it was all helpful”. Yes.

[Sara]: Yeah, so you have to let them know. It's okay for them to give you some feedback, some honest feedback and then we've got to be prepared for it. You might not always like what we're hearing, but man, if you can have that honest conversation and then a nice back and forth about that, that's going to be really powerful for setting a tone for the year. As things come up, they're more likely to come to you and say “hey, this thing happened the other day and I don't know what to do about it”. Because they're feeling more “you're a safe space, someone I can go to and say ‘there's a problem’ and there's not going to be this ‘well, why don't you do this, this and this and what's wrong with you? And--'’

[Kyle]: Yeah or “how many times--? You keep gripping about this, stop complaining about it”.
 

[Kyle]: That would be a great place we've talked in the past podcast, how some parents will have like a truth table. A table where the kid can say-- So, maybe that's a great place to have that conversation about school, how they feel about it. But that leads me into-- One kind of a wrap up question is, then what do you do if the kid is expressing disappointment or frustration about school starting? Like, it's just constant negativity like “oh, school, oh my gosh!”. Like, a lot of that kind of stuff and it really sounds like a fixed mindset, like in our previous podcast that we talked back early on about fixed mindset versus growth mindset. How would you help the kids shift that? Because it seems like they're not setting themselves up for success and it can get kind of really irritating to apparently be like-- You know, like-- I mean, you're-- I feel like even as I say it to myself, I want to give them a speech of like “you know, there's kids throughout the world that can't even go to school, son or daughter”. You know, like “you need to be grateful you even get to go. You know how much that school's costing us?”. You know, it'd be easy to get into that kind of conversation.

[Kyle]: But some kids, they-- You know, even reflecting upon the language stuff “I have to go to school”, you know? “They're going to make me go to school”, you know? This kind of like, self-defeating language that is so fixed and it's almost as if they're not giving themselves the power to even enjoy it, you know? They're not even open to the fact that school could be good this year. So, how would you approach that if that conversation, that tone kept coming back?

[Sara]: Well, if I’m hearing that, I already know they're not in their prefrontal cortex.

[Sara]: And I-- And you know, I know we've had parts where-- Basically there's different parts of your brain, if they're more in an emotional part of the brain, they're not going to hear you even if you come up with the most brilliant idea to help them. They're just not in a space to hear it. So, my first goal is I got to shift them, I got to help them and I need to have empathy and I need to remember how there are times in my life, I felt that same way. So, I want to try to join with them and provide a lot of empathy. Like you said, that can be really hard, so I need to make sure I’m in my--

[Sara]: I have to be in my prefrontal cortex, because we start resisting that feeling when we're not in our--

[Kyle]: Start getting really annoying.

[Sara]: Yeah, “how ungrateful--“.

[Kyle]: Yeah, I know. Yes.

[Sara]: “Fine, then just don't do school”.

[Kyle]: “If you don't like school, school it's gonna stink, then you're right”, yeah and so, what I hear you saying is using the empathy-- I’d also say though, maybe even putting some boundaries on it. So once I do the empathy to say “hey, listen, it sounds like you're frustrated about school coming or you've got this idea-- Here's what I’d ask you to do, how about we just spend--? If each day you're going to talk about in a negative way, I’ll give you five minutes to share and to tell me how much school-- Going back to school is gonna stink and how you wish every-- All year long could be summer and you could swim all year. Let's just talk about it for five minutes and then we drop it. Can we agree to that? Okay?” and then maybe in that process, what you'd eventually like to see is the kid kind of start getting less rigid and less fixed on all the negativity and maybe then, you could say “could I tell you about some positives I see?” and maybe throw that out to the kid and see if the kid is receptive to that, you know? And start to kind of expanding that kid's ability to think that maybe this could be a good year, instead of it's definitely going to be a bad year.

[Sara]: And I think especially-- I honestly feel like you could do this with any age, but I would bring it up to-- I would bring it to light. I’d say “wow, it just seems like--” Again, empathize first, give them that space and then just say-- You know, just talk about. “It seems like you're a really negative space, do you want to be there?”.

[Sara]: You know, “do you think this can ever change?” and I would just-- I want to be able to call it out and say it and similar to-- I like that too when you're saying “give them space for it”. I love the language of “okay, are you venting or are you complaining?”.

[Sara]: Complaining is kind of a space of “we're just going on and on about how terrible everything is” and a vent is “hey, I’m just going to throw this out there, I just need to get it off my chest and then I can--”.

[Kyle]: Yes. That’s so good, yeah.

[Sara]: And I would just-- Especially with the older kids who can understand the difference between those two things, I don't mind listening to a little vent session. But if we're just sitting here complaining. complaining is “I’m just stuck forever--”

[Kyle]: Exactly. Yeah, “I’m helpless, I can't do anything about it, I’m powerless”. Yeah. “I’m a victim--”

[Sara]: And I think that's okay to set limits on, it's like “I get it, it's tough, I don't mind listening to some venting. But if it's gonna move into complaining, you know, I’m kind of done at this point”

[Sara]: To set some boundaries around that, but that's helpful to them. Even in future relationships that's going to be helpful to them.

[Kyle]: Yes. Well, because I was thinking you said that's helpful to them, because it's not helpful to them to keep complaining, it's just not helpful.

[Sara]: It’s not, yeah.

[Kyle]: So, if you put some--

[Sara]: And other friends aren’t going to want to listen to that forever.

[Kyle]: Yeah. No, it gets so annoying. So, in wrapping this up. So, I hope parents are hearing this, because just basic things you were saying that are really important to you, Sara, as you help our kids prepare for the school year is, first, is goal setting and so, you know, kind of talking them through how they want to create this year and then, the second one is this idea of having a conversation about things that they're worried about or afraid of or kind of some of the dread they might be feeling, right? Then it's about creating routines, routines that are setting them up for success and most of that looks like, what's it gonna look like after school, when they get home, how they're doing homework, then into night time and then in the morning and just also being clear that you can do this with kids going to pre-k.

[Kyle]: So, this is-- Start the conversation at four and then all the way up, you know? And it becomes just a real cool habit every year the kids might look forward to it.

[Sara]: And make it special like, go get ice cream or “let's get pizza tonight and a movie, let's have this conversation”. Make it a celebration, the new year started!

[Kyle]: It's not “kids, sit down! We're going to talk about school and set goals! Just sit--”. Yeah, that's not going to be helpful.

[Sara]: Put some real positive energies there.

[Kyle]: Exactly, yes yes. So, and then at the end, if there is constant complaining kind of clarifying, is this venting or is this complaining? And then maybe putting some boundaries on that complaining to say “okay, this is how far I want that to go because it's just not helpful to you”, okay? So, next week what we're going to do is kind of tackle, if your kids are having problems throughout the school year like, behavioral issues or things like that or if they had problems in the past year, some negative interactions with teachers. So, we'll kind of give some thoughts. For me as a school counselor, I was with a lot of kids like that during the elementary years, kind of ways to help kids approach that and ways to like, if they get calls from home, all that kind of stuff, how to deal with that. So, I hope this podcast was really helpful to you as you prepare for a new 2022-2023 school year and helping set your kids and you up for more success. So, we appreciate you listening, such a great time to have a conversation with you.